Grandma Rose

My Grandma Rose went into the nursing home yesterday. It's been such a hard thing for everyone in our family- especially my mom, aunts, and uncles though as they feel so bad having to put here there.

Grandma's story of late is a sad, sad story. She's being going down-hill for over a year now (she's had health problems most of her life though, but is such a strong woman!). She's been losing her memory, experiencing mini-strokes, and developing some kind of dementia over the last year, but the past few weeks her health has declined at a shocking rate. 

She's always quite confused and completely forgets everything at times. She's had some horrible anxiety attacks and scary "daydream" like events where she doesn't know who anyone is or where she is. It's amazing how fast this came on. It seems like it was just a few months ago that I was having deep conversations with her. We have been up lots in the past week and each time I see her, she seems to have declined more and more.

After my aunt, uncle, and grandpa in Park Valley had completely taken over doing most activities of daily living for her, they decided to move her into my Aunt Christie's home in Tremonton so my mom and Christie could take care of her full-time. They moved her in two Sundays ago.

In just one week, she became completely immobile and requires 2 assists and a wheelchair now to transfer her. Grandpa says she can hardly feed herself without help and struggles getting food to her mouth.

Along with other problems, after so much deliberation and prayer, the aunts/uncles & grandpa decided to move her into a nursing home where she can be better taken care of.

As you can imagine, this has been one of the hardest decisions they've ever made and I can see the guilt my mom feels everyday. She shouldn't feel that way- she is doing what's best for grandma and for her (she pulled several muscles in her back and elsewhere trying to transfer grandma). This is just what happens sometimes and that's why those facilities are available.

I think she knows she shouldn't feel guilty, but she says she can't help it. I love what she said- "You just never feel like you have done enough for your mom."

Well now I'm a crying mess writing this.

This is such a hard thing for me and my whole extended family.

I think we'd all agree that Grandma is the glue that holds everyone together.

We all adore her, love her, and want to be just like her (Am I right gals?)

In elementary or intermediate school, I distinctly remember being assigned to write a paper about who my hero was and I wrote it on Grandma.

It's just so hard to think about the fact that I'll never get to visit her in Park Valley again or see her busily working in her kitchen making me some delicious treat. 

Or that their Lincoln won't pull up to my parents house with Grandma in the passenger seat just a smiling!

It's so hard to think about these things and to not get emotional.

I'm so so thankful for the gospel, for the plan of salvation, and for comfort found in prayer.

Keep my mama in your prayers if you know her cause she surely needs them!

Drake & I went up to visit Grandma at Christie's on Wednesday (the day before she moved to the nursing home) and I really wanted to get some pictures of us with Grandma. Since, I have still have no flash on my camera, they quality is so frustrating to me, but I'm glad we were able to get pictures!

She was especially smiley this day and I commented to her that she looked so happy!

Aren't my grandma and grandpa the most beautiful couple. My grandma is so beautiful. Gosh, if I could look like her at that age!

Even with Grandma's confusion, she still constantly worries about Grandpa. I said to her "Grandma, do you want a drink of water?" and she replied "No", then turned to Grandpa to ask him if he wanted one.

I especially want to focus your eyes on their hands. I love them both so much. 

Yay! Drakey smiled in this picture!

I love the corners of grandma's mouth with her slight smile.

My mom with her parents and Drake.

And me with my greatest example.

Drake left our visit with a present!

Aunt Christie & Aunt Nancy made Drake this Mickey Mouse blanket while sitting with Grandma one day and to say he adores it would be an understatement!

A few experiences that I don't want to forget from the last week of visiting her:

*On Saturday night of General Conference, the men went to priesthood, and my mom got a call from Christie telling her to come over soon because Grandma was having a really rough evening. We all went over with her and grandma was anxious, confused, and crying. We sat down and sang primary songs to her over and over. She quickly calmed down and the sparkle came back into her eyes. I think Grandpa found comfort in many of the songs we sang to her like "Families can be Together Forever" and "A Child's Prayer" because he was emotional about it. It was a really neat, spiritual experience.

*On Wednesday, we had Chinese food and fortune cookies. Grandma's fortune said "Your greatest wish will come true" so I asked her what her greatest wish was. She said "To be whole again." Grandpa reassured her that at their ages, it wouldn't be long and made a little joke out of it like he always does. I watched him talk to her and comfort her and it was so neat.

*Sorry Christie- I HAVE to put this because it's so dang funny. On Wednesday, Christie walked over and told us that Grandma had just asked her how far along in her pregnancy she was! hahaha That was sure a blow to Christie's morale! (Christie is teeny-tiny by the way)

*At Christie's on Wednesday, my aunt Janet and aunt Wendy were there taking care of Grandma. Christie, my mom, Grandpa, Drake & I were there too. Grandma asked me "Are you surprised that all of these people showed up to see you? Or are you just surprised that I came?" First, I giggled and then I said, "Grandma! We are all here to see you!" She started to just cry and cry and said, "I'm just so thankful for all of you. I love you all so much!" It made me pretty emotional.

*And last, when we were leaving, I gave Grandma a giant squeeze, kissed her on the cheek, and whispered  "I love you, I love you, I love you" and when I pulled away from her she had tears down her cheeks. She many not be completely with it right now, but her spirit is fully there and I felt it then.

*Oh, and we can't forget the hilarious moment when Christie and my mom dropped Grandma down the stairs. It wasn't funny then, but since everyone was fine, it's hilarious now!

There have been a lot of sad moments, spiritual moments, and hilarious moments!

We can't wait to go visit her at the nursing room this weekend! I'm sure my mom and her siblings have the most trendy room for her and that Grandma is loving all of the activities and interactions there.

We love you dear Grandma!

And how fun is this- my Grandma Payne (my dad's mom) is in the same nursing home as my Grandma Rose and they are going to be roommates! She has been there for awhile now and she can show Grandma R. the ropes! I'll post pictures when we go see them.

Go see Julie's blog too- I love what she wrote about Grandma and the pictures she got of her!

(Sorry this is so long, but I want to remember all of it and I wrote it down for my mom to remember too)