Mother's Day...thoughts on being a mom.

When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?

-Neil A. Maxwell 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1978/04/the-women-of-god?lang=eng

Our bishop read this quote to us in Relief Society for Mother's Day and it was something I really needed to hear. 

I love being a mother. It is so rewarding. I love serving my children.

But, it's so dang hard. 

The physical responsibilities are exhausting. 

Then, there's the emotional aspects- like worrying that you are screwing every single thing up. 

I feel like I'm really bad at all of it. 

But, I sure am trying. And I am learning A LOT along the way.

I want to be the best mother to my children. And I try to stay close to the Spirit so that I can become that. I fail quite often, but I hope and pray that I'm moving in the right direction. 

Drake thinks I'm a mean mom half the time because I discipline him or tell him no. The other half of the time he kisses me and hugs me and tells me I'm his favorite. When I come home from work he acts like he hasn't seen me in weeks, waiting by the door to run out to my car and welcome me home. It's the best. Perfect moment. 

One night, we laid on his bed as he was going to sleep and talked about the day he was born and how he's grown. I told him how much I loved everything about him and he smiled and hugged me so tight I could hardly breathe. Perfect moment.

I have many more stories like that.

 My heart feels so warm in those moments and I get a feeling of validation for all that I'm doing. I love and live for those moments. They make the hard times very worth it. Awww...the hard times. Let's just not talk about those. Screaming, tantrums, disobeying, hitting....they make me tired. And they suck! :)

Drake is 4 and we have a lot of ups and downs. Rob asks everyday after work "How was Drake today?" Four is a hard age. But, a great, adventurous, hilarious age too! I wish Drake could understand just how much I love him and why we have rules and limitations. I know he will someday. But, when I'm in the dirt and grind of the day and he's yelling at me for the 10th time that day, motherhood doesn't feel super glorious in that moment. Once again, so thankful for the "perfect" moments that make everything worth it.

Then, there's Sara. Oh sweet Sara. It's pretty easy to adore her at her stage of life. The only thing she does that's frustrating right now is wake up during the night (occasionally) or throw food on the ground (sometimes). She gives us so much in return for all we do for her- her smile, laugh, and cuddles make diaper changes worth every penny. There's just not even much to complain about there. Too bad she'll someday be 4! haha kidding. Love that baby girl. She's been a blessing in reminding me how close heaven really is. 

I love my kids. I love the good times with them. And I appreciate the bad times and what I'm learning from them. 

I am so so grateful for my role as a mother. 

I do feel and know that my job in raising them is more important than anything else I could be doing. I truly believe that with all of my heart. I made a choice to be a mother and it is the best choice I've ever made.

I'm so thankful for a husband who works so hard so that I can be home with my kids. 

I'm thankful for the mother that raised him and teaches me so much.

I'm thankful for my amazing mother. 

I think of her daily. I'm thankful for the example she set- I do most everything the same way she taught me. I'm starting to understand all of the sacrifices she has made for me throughout my life and I'm realizing that I'll always be indebted to her. Now, I get to do that with my children and the cycle will forever continue. How blessed are we that Heavenly Father gave us this opportunity.

...And these are my thoughts this Mother's Day.

A huge thank you to my cute kids and hubby for making my Mother's Day so fabulous! I didn't cook, clean, do dishes, or do any work whatsoever. They let me relax and pampered me like crazy. Flowers, cards, drawings, kitchen gadgets, and games were given to me. Such a fun day!