Chattin' With Mr. D...

Time for another edition of

Chattin' with Mr. D...

MARCH

Rob was ironing his shirt before church-

Drake: Dad, what are you doing?

Rob: I'm ironing my shirt.

Drake: Why are you ironing your shirt?

Rob: To get all these wrinkles out. See these wrinkles?

Drake: But where do the wrinkles go? Do they go in there? (pointing at the iron)

I was voice-texting Robert with Siri and talking really slow and articulated into my phone.

Me: (talking to Siri) I..put..it..on..the..American Express...Period.

Drake: (grabs my phone and talks into it in the same voice) I..have..a..choc..late...donut.

While we were staying in Utah, I was frustrated with Drake because he would NOT go to bed. He was upstairs in my parents bedroom and he called me to come up for the bazillionth time, so up I went.

Me: DRAKE, What do you need?!

Drake: Mom, will you help me remember my primary songs?

Drake has caught on to me recording his funny moments as Voice Memos on my phone. He decided to record one himself-

Drake: Um, Grandpa and Me were sitting outside and Abby and Angel tried to eat me.

Me: (in the background) No, they didn't!

Drake: YEAH they did! They tried to!

Me: Ok?...Now, push the stop button. 

Drake: Stop.

Okay, I've found lots more of these little Voice Memos from him on my phone. This is hilarious listening to them!
Drake: Um....Me and Mommy and Drakey were at the store and I said, I want one of those drinks that has colors. 

And another-

Drake: Um.....Um.....Um...

Me: (in the background) Do you want to say something?

Drake: Yeah, I want to.....Um....(silence for a few 10 seconds).....Um....I wanna get a treat!

Drake was doing the elliptical at Staci's house in the nude. So funny!

Me: Drake, come get dressed so we can go to Brooke's house!

Drake: No Mom, I gotta exercise so I can get strong and run really FAST! (Flexes his muscles in the air)

Before we found out Baby #2's gender-

Me: Do you think the baby is a girl baby or a boy baby?

Drake: I think it's a girl baby because I like girls and I like to kiss.

Me: You don't kiss girls! You only can kiss one girl and who is that?

Drake: Mommy!

Drake: Can I kiss Staci? Can I kiss Tyler?

Me: Yes (they are his aunt and uncle)

We started talking about something else and then a few minutes later-

Me: So what do you want to do at Staci's house today?

Drake: (Laughing) Play! And kiss lots of girls! 

Drake: We need to brush my teeth cause there's lots of boogers in them!

Me: Boogers in them?!
Drake: Yeah, from being outside. There's lots of boogers in my teeth.

While wiping Drake's bum on the toilet-

Me: You went poop a lot!

Drake: I know! We need to take a picture of it!

(I know this is potty talk, but just too funny not to record)

I was laying down with Drake in his bed while he fell sleep and he was closing his eyes and pulling on his eyelids which was making this weird sucking noise.

Me: Drake, stop that and go to sleep!

Drake: I'm doing my work!

A few minutes later while laying with him, I had my eyes closed and suddenly felt his finger right in front of my face. I opened my eyes and his pointer finger was right in front of my nostril.

Me: What are you doing!?

Drake: (whispering) Mom, I feel your bweath.

During Easter-time, Drake loved to hop around like a bunny, but he'd hop around saying POP, POP, POP!

While going to the bathroom-

Drake: Stop staying 'Are you done yet? Are you done yet? Are you done yet?' to me!

Me: Why?!

Drake: Because it's making me crazy!

While playing some kind of a game where we were sneaking around the house-

Drake: Mom, we're Tip-Tope-Ting! 

Me: We're what?

Drake: We're Tip-Tope-Ting!

Me: Oh! We're tiptoeing!

Sitting on my lap in the driver's seat of the car playing pretend.

Drake: I want to show you how to drive pretend, Mom. (pretending to drive)

Me: What if there was a deer in the road? What would you do?

Drake: I would get out of my car and shoot it with my gun!

(I was looking for the answer of "drive around it" so I asked a different question-)

Me: What if there was a little kid in the road?

Drake: We'd stop and help them.

Me: What if there was a bear in the road?!

Drake: We'd have to run it over with our car! Except if it was a nice bear and then we wouldn't wreck it with our car.  

At Stake Conference, the speaker asked all those who had served missions to stand. Rob stood up and Drake followed his Dad and stood up as well. Then they sat down.

Drake: Mom, you forgot to stand up!

Me: I didn't stand up because I didn't go on a mission like Daddy. Daddy was a missionary, but Mommy wasn't.

Drake: Oh...I stood up because I'm a superhero!

Watching Tarzan with Rob-

Drake: Hey Dad...Tarzan is a really cool man, huh?

One day, we were at the park and I was sitting on a bench a little far off from Drake when I suddenly saw him pulling off his pants and preparing to go potty in the grass. I ran over and we had a good talk about when and where it's okay to potty outside. It was so funny!

APRIL / MAY

Drake: A throat is in the back of your mouth and if you have a throat, it hurts.

Drake: Whenever I say the word 'BOX' today that means you have to play with me. (So he spent the day running around saying 'BOX')

After time-out for jumping on my stomach-

Drake: Are you going to obey me now, Mom? Are you going to be a nice Mommy now?

Me: What do you mean? I've been nice to you.

Drake: Like are you not going to yell at me when I jump on you now?

Watching the fireworks after the SF Giants game-

Drake: I think the fireworks are saying, "Thank you for coming to the baseball game!"

Drake: Hey Dad, when I get big like you, can I drink lots of Diet Coke?

At the park we were playing basketball-

Drake: (stops playing and puts the ball down) Hold on Mom! I gotta put my headband on like Lebron! (pretends to put a headband on) Now I'm Lebron James! Who are you going to be? Spidergirl??

Drake was in the shower down the hall and yelled to me-
Drake: Mom, Come here! I gotta tell you a secret!
I walk into the bathroom.

Drake: Um...can I go potty in Grandma's drain?
Me: Sure.
Drake: YESSSSS!!!

We were driving in the car...
Drake: Mom, I have a tummy ache.
Me: You have a tummy ache? Do you need to go poo-poo? Are you hungry?
Drake: No, I just need a hug.

Drake wanted to play puzzles and watch movies one morning.
Me: Okay Drake, we are going to play puzzles for a little bit and then we can watch one movie and then Mommy has a lot of work to do. I've go to unpack our bags, go to the grocery store, and clean up our house. So let's play and then we have to work, okay?
Drake: Okay, I have a lot of work to do too. We have to play puzzles and play lots and lots of games AND we've got to look at the picture of the Golden Gate Bridge (points at picture of GGB).

We were laying on my bed watching a movie.
Drake: Mom, you stink!
Me: No, I don't! What do I smell like?
Drake: You smell like a dog.

Drake was on Rob's back for a horsey ride.
Drake: Dad, walk like a dinosaurus-horsey-lion!

Runs into my room.
Drake: Mom, can I have another one of those things that you hold and then you pull and then you fold the paper up and put it in the garbage and then you eat it!!??
Mom: I have no idea what you are talking about. Can you show me?
Leaves and comes back with a salt water taffy! Hilarious description!

Drake: Sasha's a mean dog.
Me: Sasha's not a mean dog.
Drake: Yeah, she's mean. Look at her eyes and her face. She's mean because her hair is cold.

Drake: Dad, will you go with me to Disney Jr?
Rob: Do you mean Disneyland?
Drake: Yeah, will you go with me to Disneyland?
Me: Maybe someday we can go to Disneyland, but it's really expensive so we'll have to save lots and lots of money.
Drake: Maybe Grandma Sheri could go with us cause she has lots of money.

Me: Drake, we should go swimming sometime this week!
Drake: Sure! If you're a good girl.

Drake was kicking a ball and he fell and was moaning and groaning on the floor.
Drake: I hurt my leg-ball! I hurt my leg-ball! I hurt my leg-ball!
Me: What's a leg-ball?
Drake: It's something in your stomach that makes you crawl like a lion.

While we were at Six Flags waiting for a show to start, Drake was running up and down the stairs in the stadium to burn some energy. He yelled down from clear up high-
Drake: Mom, Dad! Please don't eat all the treats!!!

I was playing the piano and Drake and Rob were building a fort with the couches and blankets. Drake came over and pulled my piano book off of the piano. 
Me: Hey! That wasn't nice!
Drake: (puts his hands out in front of him) Mom, you have two choices. The first choice (and he holds out one hand) is you can go in time-out in my room. Or the second choice (and he holds out his other hand) is you can come play in the fort with me and Dad.
Me: But, I want to play the piano.
Drake: That's not a choice.
(So a little background- this is exactly what Rob and I do with him when we are trying to get him to make a good choice. Little stinker!)

Drake slept in one morning and came in our room at 8:30am (Nice!).
Me: Drake! You slept in!
Drake: Yeah! I did sleep in the covers and out of the covers last night.

Me: You need to go clean up your toys outside please.
Drake: I can't Mom, The prophet, the pretend prophet, told me not to.

Something to remember: Some of our best and most hilarious conversations with Drake take place while he is sitting on the toilet going number 2. I'm sorry if that's gross to some, but it's too hilarious not to share and remember. He becomes Mr. Chatty-Pants when he's sitting there. I wish I could write down all he says, but some of it really isn't appropriate for blog-land. haha! Here are two funnies though-

Drake yells from the bathroom-
Drake: Mom (or Dad), come here!
Us: What do you need Drake?
Drake: Come talk to me about your day!
(This happens soooo much. He gets so bored on the toilet.)

I'm getting ready in the bathroom on Sunday and Drake is going to the bathroom right by me.
Drake: (seriously concerned) Is that big poop gonna fit in that little hole?
:) Okay, I'll stop there.

Oh Buddy! We sure love you! Thanks for making us laugh!